My back hurts. Well, to be specific it is my bum (is that okay to say?) and down my leg that hurts ending in intense tingling in my foot and toes. I have sciatica which I think is a fancy term for BIG PAIN in the BUTT. My back problems started when I was pregnant with Jackson and continued off and on his first year of life. It got really bad in January of this year when I got the official diagnosis and pain medications. They didn't work so I got an epidural injection of Cortisone in February. It worked right away and I thanked Heavenly Father sooo much for inspiring someone to come up with that idea. Then I got cocky and a few months later while lifting Jackson it happened again. The doctor said "Be careful with him and try not to hurt your back" and I thought, you don't have kids, do you? How do you tell an almost 2-year-old it is too bad he fell off the edge of the driveway but Mommy can't suddenly reach out and grab him becasue she is being "careful", yeah, good luck with that one.
So I got another cortisone shot a week ago today. The pain got better for about two days after and now is getting worse each day. Yesterday I laid on the floor with Jackson (I've always been a big fan of getting down on his level) and when I got up I walked funny. I look like I have a hitch in my get along with a slight limp from protecting myself from the pain I think. And I don't deal with pain. It is probably the best thing that I had to have a C-section with Jackson with no labor because I am a huge wimp. This is giving me the greatest awe of people, especially moms, who deal with chronic pain. I have no clue how they do it. I do push myself through pain if it means doing something for Jackson. He wanted to "walk" which means me carry him, down the street today and I did it, grimacing the entire way because my son is my life and I just can't bring myself to deny him any little thing even if it means pain for me. Which makes me love my Brother, the Savior, ever so much more. He suffered sooo much for us even though it meant so much pain because he loved us too much to deny us anything. Which is maybe the lesson I am supposed to learn from this trial. I have been trying to figure out why the pain hasn't been taken from me and I guess I haven't learned all I need to yet because it certainly hasn't left.
I am scared to call my doctor because I think the next step is surgery and I can't even begin to think about how much I would hate that. The idea of surgery on my back with possible paralysis scares me beyond words. And how in the heck do you recover from back surgery with a two-year-old who wants to play all day?!
So there is my whiny post. I just wanted to write all my random thoughts down and get them out of my head. So if anyone has any ideas to help I would appreciate it. And I never turn down offers for prayers though I know so many people out there have it so much worse than me.
3 comments:
I'm so sorry that you've got pain in the butt. It is hard to be a mom and have responsibilities that others say, "Oh, just don't do them." That never works. Have you tried yoga? Not that it will fix it, but I think it helps strenghten all those muscles that go around there and maybe some support would be helpful? Then again, since I'm not a doctor, it might make it worse. Probably best to check with your doctor, although I understand the whole avoidance thing as well. I'd rather not know just how bad it is.
I get sciatica when I'm pregnant. Thankfully it goes away after the baby is born.
My aunt had a similar problem and showed me some stretching exercises (well one exercise) that might have helped if I could have done them- they didn't work with my big belly in the way.
I would STRONGLY advise avoiding back surgery. Not that I'm a dr. or anything, but it seems (at least from my dad's perspective) drs like to push surgery, and none of the people my dad knows who have had back surgery have been better off after.
I'd look into physical therapy.
Just from googling "non surgical sciatica treatment" I found this link which may or may not be helpful... :)
Sciatica
Thanks so much for your suggestions, I am feeling a lot more hopeful now. I am going to call my doctor and ask about physical therapy or yoga. That is what I feel like I need, to stretch things and especially to strengthen my back and stomach. The link was a great resource Alice, thanks! This is why I blog, to get great ideas like this.
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